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lifesaving medical procedures by el gato malo

repurposing practices from the past and adopting new cutting edge therapy (a possibly less than serious allegory. or maybe…)
antonio moniz, inventor of the lobotomy, won the nobel prize in medicine for this breakthrough in treating everything from mental health issues to nervous indigestion. i mean, sure, there were a few side-effects, especially with the early versions where they drilled a hole in your skull and poured in alcohol to kill brain tissue, but omelets, eggs, you know how it goes! this was cutting edge treatment for the day, widely performed, and lauded by doctors and medical boards alike. trust the science and it will all be OK in the end, right? right.
oddly, this once prolific practice has now fallen into disuse and disrepute. and it’s possible that we may want to have another look at it as i honestly think it could wind up being a huge life saver if repurposed. these antediluvian medicos were simply seeking to cure the incorrect disorders. consider: “anti-social megalo/monomaniacal narcissistic biofascism complex” has been pandemic for years and cures remain elusive. there is no approved treatment and it’s obviously highly contagious and life threatening to everyone around you. seems like a prime candidate for an EUA.
if only we had had it earlier… take this list of people in 2019 and inoculate them against ASMMNBC with a little instrument up the old schnozz, one quick pinch in the frontal lobe (barely even a fauci ouchie) and imagine the suffering we could have saved the world! billions of person years of misery alleviated.

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